Stardust inappropriate edition
by What do Star's Do
Summary: This is an alteration of the story Stardust. My friend and I wrote it during a sugar high when we were both insane Funny French Men! Enjoy!


**Spermdust**

Firstly I would like to state that Meghan and myself to not hold claim to any characters within the Stardust novel or movie. Nor do we lay claim to any characters within the story with the acceptance of Adam and Lyla which are characters strictly conjured by Meghan and myself in order to slightly alter the course of events within the story. Also we do not claim any right of the plot as it was pulled from the novel,movie,with a personal twist.

Also as a warning this story will contain explicit mature content and gory description of various fights. Please do not insult or complain in reviews as these comments will be ignored and looked down upon. Comments or ideas are strongly encouraged and we hope you enjoy the story.

* * *

It was a beautiful night as Tristan Thorn and his true love Victoria sat under the starry night sky drinking their Champaign and discussing Humphrey's supposed marriage proposal that was said to be brought about on Victoria's birthday in the coming week. As Tristan pleaded with Victoria to reconsider her choice and marry him, a beautiful light shone down from the heavens and streamed into the land across the wall. It was this star that Tristan now promised to bring back in exchange for her hand in marriage. As the agreement was finalized Tristan ran off in the direction of the wall and Victoria lay back imagining the star that she would soon possess.

* * *

The star then streamed across the sky above the ancient witches castle. Lamia, the eldest of the three coincidentally was viewing the sky at that very moment, and upon sight of the star ran into the dark chambers of the castle in order to wake her sisters from their slumber.

"Empusa, Mormo wake up!" She screamed slapping the bed.

"What is it?" Empusa roared rising from her rather uncomfortable bed.

"A star has fallen!" Lamia said raising her hands in praise. The three sisters then became alarmed and ran to the potions shelf in order to check for their Babylon candles. Upon the realization that the candles had been used, the sisters then decided to retrieve the star on foot. For it was the sperm of the star that could provide them with the youth and beauty that they so longed for after their previous abuse of magic had drained them of their great beauty and vast power. The sisters then went into the next room retrieving a vial from the hidden fridge that was placed inside a great chest. From this sacred fridge Lamia pulled a vial with a small amount of golden and metallic looking liquid. "There isn't much left," Lamia stated gulping down what remained of the sacred fluid.

"Dear sister…does it still taste the same way it did years ago?" Mormo asked remembering that a star's sperm tasted of the person's most desirable flavour.

"Yes indeed my sister and it makes me yearn for so much more just having it upon my lips…slowly slipping into the dark reaches of my throat…oh how I wish this taste could last forever!" Mormo began to cry slightly as she licked her lips, sad that she could not be the one to seek the star. Never the less she knew that it must be Lamia; for she was the strongest of the three and possessed the great power of the serpents flame…more deadly and powerful than anything the other two witches could summon.

Finally Lamia let the last drop of the sperm trickle down her throat arousing her every desire. It was true perfection and paradise but only for a brief moment. As the great pleasure faded Lamia began to regain her youth. As a witch, she possessed the ability to have a prolonged life…but not a life of eternal beauty. For her beauty would only last as it would a normal mortal and to sustain perfect beauty she would need to take the full ejaculation of a star into herself. 400 years ago the three witches had seduced a star...but he would not bed them as a star would only mate with one person and that must be someone that they truly loved. Still, the witches were able to convince the star to masturbate for them and they decided to just kill him as he ejaculated and split one blow of the heavenly beings sperm amongst the three of them. This allowed them to at least restore their beauty…but not fully sustain it as they soon discovered when they were forced into a magical battle that ended up aging them back into their old age.

The transformation was complete and Lamia was once again in the great beauty of her youth. After, she and her sisters prepared her for her journey, and she set out in search of the star that would give her eternal youth and not just the glimpse of youth that she currently possessed.

* * *

The three remaining princes of Stormhold had gathered in the main hall after their past night orgy with the castle maidens.

"Primus, I never realized what a violent sex fiend you were…even worse than Sextus!" Septimus stated patting his brother on the back. "Tertius as well, I never expected you to go so far with that old woman as you did…even if she did promise to let you spray your sperm in her face!" Septimus was now laughing as he passed a glass of wine to his brother Tertius. Tertius then took a drink and fell to the floor as blood began to spew from his mouth as the acid in the wine flowed down his throat burning holes through it.

"What have you done Septimus?" Primus asked angered.

"I just took out the weaker link Primus…as any good fighter would!" Septimus then left the castle in search of the Stormhold's great Ruby, which would proclaim him as king and give him all the powers of a god. Little did he know that the stone was what had knocked the star out of the heavens and onto the earth.

* * *

The star struggled to his feet seeing the great crater that he had created. He was stunning in his own beauty, with golden blond hair and spectacular blue eyes. His every feature seemed to be perfect in nature and the plain sight of his form could bring any mortal to desire him. Slowly he reached for the stone that had hit him. It was crystal clear now as the king had removed its power until one of royal blood touched it. The star then tied it around his waist and let it dangle to where his member laid beneath his pants. The star was wearing a liquid appearing fabric that seemed not of the world around him. He wore no shirt but a jacket like robe that was revealing his chest and went to the length of the back of his ankles.

It was as if in an instant the star once again felt himself upon the ground, and to his amazement he was. Tristan had fallen onto the star after using the Babylon candle his mother left for him. The star pushed Tristan off and his eyes began to glow blinding Tristan.

"What do you want you stupid moron!" He yelled flicking a bolt of light into Tristan knocking him back. Tristan was confused and didn't understand what was going on. The star then stopped shining and Tristan was able to get his first good look at him. Tristan compared the star's magnificence to his own looks. Tristan had short brown hair and although he had been called cute, he felt impudent in comparison with the star's obvious elegance. After a short conversation Tristan realized what the star was and in an instant had himself chained to the star by the witch's chain that his father had given him. The star was now unable to use his powers as they were suppressed by the chain's enchantment and Tristan began to try to pull the star along. At first the star fought, but after a long talk the star realized that Tristan was his only hope of returning home. (The star was also a secret romantic and loved Tristan's devotion to Victoria) The Star then told Tristan that his own name was Adam. The two then set out in the direction of the wall.

* * *

Lamia had just arrived at an old cottage when she realized that she was too tired to walk any further. She then used her power to conjure a great carriage that was green and black and had the image of a snake embezzled on its doors. She then went to the boy that had recently exited the cottage and she quickly turned him into a mighty steed as well as the goat beside him. After tying the two horses to her carriage she noticed that her arm was beginning to age. "Damn!" She yelled. In her anger her power accidentally set fire to the cottage and soon spread throughout the small building. A rather chubby woman came running out set ablaze. Lamia simply flicked her hand and the woman flew into the house once more, the door being sealed shut behind her. Lamia began to laugh as she listened to the woman's screams of agony and set off down the road in her carriage that was driving itself.

* * *

Septimus had recently run into a little problem with a soothsayer and was far behind the stone's trail unlike his older brother Primus whom was getting very close to the star that held his marvellous stone.

* * *

Tristan and the star travelled for hours and the star soon became tired. Falling to the ground by a tree the star refused to move and Tristan tied it to the tree and left in search of food.

Realizing that he was now alone; Adam began to rub the growing bulge in his pants. Adam didn't want to jerk off in front of Tristan realizing the great power of his sperm and knowing that Tristan might have captured him just to consume it. However, Adam was not used to going more than an hour without shooting a load of his creamy cum and his appendage was sore and pulsing for the release of the special liquid within. He quickly took his dick in hand and began to stroke it. It wasn't long before the golden and metallic cum of the star was streaming all over him and he soon realized that he didn't know what he would do with all that he had released. "I certainly can't leave this here…someone might stumble upon it and eat it." Adam feared he had made a big mistake since in the heavens his cum would just vanish when he pleased for it to. All seemed hopeless when a stunning white unicorn came out of the bushes nearby. The unicorn being immortal and beautiful already quickly consumed the stray cum and then released the star from the chains that bound him. Adam then jumped onto the unicorn's back and rode off into the cold night.

* * *

Lamia had travelled all night and was now starving. In her path she saw that of a familiar face. A girl she knew centuries ago when she was young. Halting her carriage she went over to the woman and ensured her that no harm would befall her as long as she shared her meal with her. The woman agreed and quickly served the food. After a short chat Lamia realized that truth was being stolen from her since the food was seasoned with lymbis grass. Tossing her plate she rose from to her feet and a great storm began. Lamia enraged cast an enchantment on the woman preventing her from seeing, hearing, touching, or even perceiving the star. Lamia then rode off leaving the woman she had known as Ditchwater Sal behind her.

* * *

Tristan had now returned and realized that the star was missing. He was lost and angry and sat down hoping to get some rest.

* * *

Lamia was now at a clearing and being advised from her sisters set up an elaborate trap crafting an inn from her carriage and changing her horses into humans. One into an old goat man and the other into his true human form. With a quick glamour she changed the boy into a young maiden and the old goat man into a handsome inn keeper that satisfied Lamia's desire in a man. She then cast a spell to give the man human intelligence and changed the girls voice so that it would sound natural instead of the boy's voice that had retained despite the glamour.

The three quickly hurried into the inn. Lamia sent the girl to prepare everything while she took her perfect man into an empty room upstairs. The man realized thanks to his human intelligence that the woman was evil, but he was still very attracted to her. Her long golden hair and beautiful green eyes were stunning despite her current aging thanks to her large use of her magic. Lamia being without a man's companionship for centuries decided to make the most out of her new slave and she quickly disrobed both him and herself and laid on the bed. While they had sex the girl downstairs listened to the noises while touching herself since she was actually a boy. Soon after though she heard a knock at the door and Lamia quickly appeared in a spew of green flames wearing a simple wife's attire. She answered the door and was stunned at the sight before her eyes. The star had travelled with the unicorn for a whole day and now they were both exhausted. Unknowing of the woman's intentions Adam quickly entered the inn and was easily accepting of Lamia's hospitality.

Lamia looked up and down the star. His clothing was soaking wet and it clung to his skin tightly revealing ever part of his form including his member. Lamia thought to herself of the great pleasure she desired from what she saw and quickly offered to allow the star a bath. Adam being a star did not know what this was and so he did as instructed and removed his clothing while hopping into the warm water of the bath. Both Lamia and the young girl were amazed at the star's naked body and it took a few moments before even Lamia the great witch was able to get speech from her lips. She called to her fake husband and he quickly rushed down the stairs wearing only his pants. Adam and Billy (As Lamia had called him) began a manly chat and Lamia left to prepare the star's room.

* * *

Tristan whom had currently been given a lift by Primus as instructed by his dream now saw the inn in the distance and Primus began speeding towards it as a heavy rain was pouring down on the both of them.

* * *

Lamia had shown the star his room and laid him down offering to massage his naked body. As he lay on the bed Lamia began to rub his shoulders slowly reaching down to where his dick lay between his legs. However, just before she reached it she heard a loud knock at the door and was forced to go to the door to not arouse suspicion. Adam once again began to stroke his manhood, increasingly fast this time.

As Lamia arrived downstairs she noticed that Primus was in the bath and she quickly grabbed a cup of wine filled with poison.

Adam perturbed by the noises that he heard downstairs stopped his masturbation and grabbed his cloths which were now dry lying next to his bed, putting them on and running down to see who it was that was disturbing his touching time.

As he approached Primus he felt a mental hit which made him feel uneasy. Lamia then walked down the stairs offering the wine to Primus. Refusing it Lamia sent the young girl out with the wine to Tristan whom was in the stable. She then walked into the kitchen and conjured a large knife that looked very strange. Tristan had been saved by the unicorn and had now run into the house to warn Primus of the poison but it was too late. Lamia had already slit his throat with her strange blade ending his life and allowing a blue stream of blood to trickle from his neck. She then called Billy to grab the star and take him up to the attic. Tristan was now alone with Lamia and frightened for his life. As she walked towards him the unicorn ran into the inn stabbing Lamia with its horn and flinging her into the wall. She then got up and felt the stream of blood that was flowing from the hole in her shoulder. "How dare you touch me with your vile horn you dirty beast!" As she screamed this she swept her hand across Primus' blue blood and splashed in onto the floor. She then used her power to form a blue cobra from the blood and the cobra wrapped itself around the unicorn strangling it. The unicorn cried out in pain as the cobra bit it and Lamia just laughed as it began to die. Tristan picked up a chair and flung it at Lamia knocking her onto the floor and her hair into the fireplace. The unicorn then began to cry. As one tear fell unto the cobra's tail it sizzled and the snake retreated back. The unicorn then began to shine in a bright light and transformed into the form of a beautiful brunette girl with brown eyes. She wore the unicorn horn around her neck and raised her hand to the snake. A stream of multicolour light shone out from her hand and the snake disintegrated. Lamia then raised herself from the ground, her hair a burning green fire. "You have tainted my beauty you stupid mortal, and for that I will tear your flesh from your bones!" Lamia's lower body then burst into green fire as well transforming it into a serpent's tale. She shot a great burst of fire towards Tristan but the unicorn stood in front and used her power to protect him.

"I am Lyla. Tristan run, I will fight her while you save Adam!" Tristan then ran upstairs just as Lyla's protection ran out and she was smashed into the wall. A battle then ensued between Lyla and Lamia each exchanging blows and warding off each others great power.

Tristan opened the attic door and was amazed at what he saw. Both Billy and Adam were rubbing their manhood and only stopped when they noticed Tristan. "We have to go or we are going to die Adam!" Tristan shouted grabbing his arm.

"It was fun jacking with you Billy but I gotta go!" Adam then lit Tristan's Babylon candle and the two disappeared. Billy just continued stroking himself not caring what happened.

Lyla had realized that she could not defeat Lamia and so she ran off into the night. Lamia then returned to her human form much more aged than she was before. She then grabbed Billy and the girl. She changed the girl back into a boy but after turning the inn back into a carriage she was too weak to change Billy and the boy into horses. Instead she left the boy and rode off in Primus' coach that had been left. As she rode down the trail she contacted her sisters and they informed her of what she should do next.

* * *

Adam and Tristan found themselves on a cloud high in the sky. Neither understood how they arrived there as they hadn't really determined where they were going before lighting the candle. After a few moment of bickering both of them were caught in a net and hauled onto a flying ship. They were both stunned and found themselves locked up in the brig. In the morning the captain questioned them and they explained everything that had happened to far. After hearing their story the captain convinced the crew that they needed to help the two boys get to wall.

* * *

Septimus arrived upon the scene of his brother's death and was completely amazed. After capturing the boy that Lamia had left he discovered his new motive and rode off in the direction that his runes said the star and his stone were in.

* * *

The captain of the ship that Adam and Tristan were on, turned out to be a cross-dressing woopsy. In exchange for safe passage all that the captain requested was that Adam and Tristan masturbate for him once a night. Realizing that they had no other choice they agreed and from then on became jerk off buddies. The captain spent the next while teaching the two boys how to fight and play piano. He even gave Tristan a makeover and taught Adam how to stop right before blowing his load so that he wouldn't accidentally bestow immortality on someone, but could still enjoy his hourly passion.

After three days the captain dropped off the two at the road to the wall. They then set out on their way and realized that over that short time they had become the best of friends even enjoying each others company during their frequent jack off sessions.

* * *

Lamia was currently on her way to the wall herself in order to capture the star and force him so bed her despite her wrinkly body and old smell. She would arrive at the wall in one day hopefully in time to intercept the star from crossing into the mortal realm where he would become a piece of rock and die.

* * *

Septimus was now following the witch's trail and also realized he must head for the wall. He wondered how he would defeat the witch though since he realized her vast power.

* * *

Adam and Tristan met up with Ditchwater Sal whom they struck a deal with in order to obtain safe passage to the wall. However, because of Lamia's spell, Ditchwater Sal was unable to see or touch the star and so she played a nasty trick and changed Tristan into a mouse for the trip. When they arrived in the market town next to the wall Tristan was changed back to normal and Adam carried him to the nearby inn. At the inn Lyla was waiting in their room and immediately fell in love with the star.

"Do I know you?" He asked her dropping Tristan on the bed.

"I'm the one who saved your buddy there from Lamia…the witch queen."

"Then I owe you thanks because Tristan is my best friend…I can't imagine what I would have done if he was dead." Adam seemed to have a certain fondness to the girl…he felt strange in her presence and he sensed the bulge in his pants once again growing.

"Lyla…will you be my mate?" Adam asked reaching for her hand. Lyla wished to say no but she could not refuse the star what he desired.

"Of course!" She replied throwing him on the bed next to Tristan. The two then removed their clothing and began to have sex right next to Tristan. Strangely he didn't wake up the entire time. After an hour Adam orgasmed all over both Lyla and Tristan as if he contained within him a limitless amount of his immortal sperm. He was so exhausted afterwards that he almost immediately fell asleep and Lyla regretting her decision quickly ran out of the room and into the night.

* * *

After running for hours she arrived upon a large dark castle. As she looked in the window she saw two old woman and immediately she knew where she was. She was angry and sad. She knew she could not remain in her human form much longer…but she longed to be with Adam. Her inner rage seemed to release and she felt a great evil consume her. The innocence of the unicorn corrupted by lust and anger had turned her into a being of pure evil. She then felt only one need…to kill, and her first victims would be the old witches that were the cause of her pain…the ones who forced her to take human form because of their sister…and the ones whom would die a most horrible death.

* * *

When Tristan woke up it was extremely early in the morning. He looked at the sperm covering his torso and he wondered what had happened. All he saw was Adam naked beside him…and his cum all over both of them and the bed. "Did Adam rape me?" He asked himself aloud. "No…he wouldn't…he knows I love Victoria!" Tristan felt confused and left the inn heading for the wall. On his way he cleaned the sperm off him and realized that none was anywhere else on him than on his torso. He felt bad for leaving Adam behind now but he thought he might as well give the sperm on him to Victoria since technically it was the star…or at least part of him.

Adam woke up soon after realizing that both his companion and his new love were now missing. He cleaned himself up and got dressed and then decided to head for the wall to see if Tristan was waiting for him there.

* * *

When Tristan arrived at Victoria's house she was already with Humphrey and apparently she had already agreed to marry him. "But Victoria…I found the star…didn't you say you would marry me?" Tristan asked this feeling betrayed and angry. Victoria asked to see the star and Tristan handed her the hanker chief with the sperm on it. She looked at it and threw it back at him.

"Tristan…I'm sorry but that just isn't good enough!" She then walked inside with her new fiancé leaving Tristan in the street betrayed. He unfolded the hanker chief and from it fell a golden powder or dust.

"Spermdust!" He yelled out, "Adam can't cross the wall!" He bolted down the street in the direction of the wall in hopes of stopping Adam if he was headed after him.

* * *

Adam was almost at the wall when Ditchwater Sal's caravan pulled up in front of him and a black haired woman got out. "If you step foot on human soil you'll turn to rock!" She screamed pushing him back.

Just then the coach of Primus pulled up next to the wall entrance and out stepped Lamia. Ditchwater Sal was now also next to her caravan and Lamia decided to teach Sal the lesson she wished she could have last time. Both witches lasted their powers at one another, but Lamia despite her old age was still too powerful for Sal to overcome, and her head was blown off by the green flames that now torched her body to ash. Lamia then used the nearby witches chain to tie up the black haired woman and the star forcing them into the coach. She then rode away in the direction of her castle.

When Tristan arrived at the wall the guard told him what happened and he grabbed the caravan horse and raced after the coach.

Septimus arrived moments later and decided to follow the tracks left behind by the coach.

* * *

As the coach arrived at the castle Lamia brought the star and the girl inside only to find her sisters slaughtered. Empusa had her heart torn out and the blood poured down her face. Her legs were also missing from her body and appeared to be in the fountain turning the water a bloody colour. Mormo was missing her head which was placed on the end of a spear at the alter. Part of her body was lying on the floor and the other part was ripped into pieces that the animals were currently feasting on. Lamia fell to her knees. "What has befallen you my sisters?!" She pleaded out as she returned to her feet.

Lyla in her deformed state then came out from the next room smiling. Her head was ripped open slightly and her hair was gone. Her faced looked as if it was melted and her body was moving despite the many buts pouring blood onto the floor in a constant trail. "Your sisters put up quite a fight but I still killed them Lamia! And trust me I laughed when they cried out in surrender and pleaded me not to kill them!" Even as she spoke these words Lyla began to laugh and she made her way towards Lamia.

Lamia simply raised a hand and in a gesture released a massive wave of power and flame blasting Lyla's disfigured body in two. As her body hit the wall she returned to her unicorn state and the two halves began to leak the silver blood of the unicorn that was never meant to be spilt. Lamia, though disheartened grabbed the star and strapped him to the table tearing off his cloths. She then placed herself on top of him and was preparing to insert him into herself. Adam looked in disgust and cried out in agony as the extremely grotesque and wrinkly old woman began to rape him.

Both Septimus and Tristan then burst through the doors. As they entered a strange figure formed in front of them. Tristan hid with the black haired woman that said she was his mother, and Septimus walked up to the figure examining it. The shadowy figure was that of a bald pale man wearing a black robe and he slowly walked towards Septimus grabbing him. He then kissed him and Septimus felt a great pain as he felt something jab into his heart. He tried to pull away but it was too late…the dark figure dropped Septimus leaving him dead on the floor and he slowly walked towards Tristan and Una, as the black haired woman told Tristan she was named. The man then flung Tristan to the wall and grabbed Una bringing her to the bed and tearing off her dress. He then sat on her placing her under his robe. Tristan ran towards the figure and slashed his head off. The figure fell to the floor dead, but as Tristan looked upon his mother he saw the life leave her eyes. The demonic man had ripped through her body with his razor like appendage. Tristan cried out in pain and then so did Adam.

"So close I can feel it pulsing within me!" Lamia said smiling as she looked upon the horror on the star's face.

"Please stop! This is not what I want! This is not right!" His screaming only aroused Lamia more and she began to go faster. Tristan then ran up the stairs grabbing Lamia and pulling her off Adam and onto the floor. "Tristan! Adam yelled. Tristan quickly undid the first belt but then Lamia came at him with two strange knives. He pulled out his sword and fought but he was no match for her and she slashed his sword away. She then raised her knife and slashed at Tristan's heart cutting through him, blue blood dripping from his chest. "No! Tristan!" Adam yelled sending a beam of light which knocked Lamia across the room.

"Just give up boy! Your sperm is mine!" She then began to walk towards Adam once again. Adam then ripped off the other belt that was holding him.

"Lamia, I would rather die than give you immortality!" Adam said getting to his feet. "He then began to shine with great magnificence beyond comparison. Lamia then felt amazing power and her molecules began to separate causing her to explode. Adam fell to his feet. "Why?" He felt as if everything had just been taken from him…both his love and his friend. Adam then looked towards the sky…"Let me come home now…I don't want to be here anymore!" Adam then felt as if he were to be pulled to the sky. "Wait!" It seemed as if a revelation just came upon him and Adam went over and sat on the table. He then began to masturbate once more and then going to all his comrades that were lost except Septimus he sprayed his seed on them. As it slipped into their wounds they began to heal and soon after they awoke.

"What happened?" Tristan asked.

"Don't worry about it lets go." Adam then helped Tristan over to his mother. "Tristan…I have to go home now."

"Why?" Tristan asked.

"I enjoyed the glimpse of humanity that I've experienced…but I miss my old life. Besides…you don't need me anymore…" Adam then went to the center of the room. In a bright flash he returned to the sky. As he vanished a small stone was left in his place and Tristan picked it up. It was the stone of Stormhold and Tristan now had restored its power.

"Wait a minute!" Tristan yelled. "If he could return to the sky that whole time why didn't he just leave in the beginning?" Una just looked in disbelief and then headed for the door.

"We better get moving! You're the king now…and there is a coronation…and an orgy that you must attend!" Tristan just kept quiet and followed thinking of how strange and abnormal this week had been. As he walked towards the door he grabbed the hanker chief that had the spermdust in it.

"Spermdust…that's the weirdest thing I've ever seen!"


End file.
